Kumon ni Jukô suru: Reflecting on the Agony
by Kumon
Summary: CHAPTER 3 UP! Ken reflects on his grim past and equaly hopeless present ...Is there any hope for Siberian?
1. Aya

Disclaimer: Not mine, Koyasu's

Omake: Spoilers to the DPA, also this is Aya's POV

Warnings: Some angst and mild Shonen-ai (it's rated PG-13 for later chapters)

{In a Hospital, a young man weeps...}

I didn't want to believe it, Shion, my master, my teacher, was dead. How...? Tears started falling. You were my principle to live up to even though in the end, I renounced your idea. I couldn't stop crying. You said I was closer to enlightenment than you, but I feel even feebler than ever! The tears drench my clothes. You didn't have to die! Death by you would have been more than I deserve. The pain is unbearable. But...you had to...

Soft feet padded across the floor. _Ran-kun _"Who's there!?" He bent down to wipe the tears from my eye. _Ran-kun, why do you continue to live like this...as a murder in such pain?_ Ki...Kikyou? I shoved his hand away. "Leave me alone! You can't help me now." His faced softened. _But Ran-kun, you know I'm always at your side._ He kneeled by my bed taking my hand._ I'd never leave you._ I sighed shaking my head. "Hn, even after all this time..."

He then turned and leaned back casually. _So Ran-kun, do you have plans for the future yet? "_Huh!?" I wasn't expecting that. _Eichinkukai, the desire to drown in endless despair, that was Shion's wish; what is yours?_ I lowered my head. "I don't know." _Well, why don't you follow Shion's plea and go back to your sister? _"I...I can't." _You love her don't you? _I glared."Of course I do! That's why I-"

He lifted a finger stopping me. _I know, I know, Ran-kun. It's the duty of a man to think of their loved ones first, even if it eventually hurts both of them. _"Wait, that not..." He jerked away, as if surprised._ Oh, do you disagree then? _"Well..." I paused to muster up all of my courage. "If doing something hurt both the man and his loved one then it is useless to do it!" He grinned. _Oh, but you forgot about honor. What if doing this painful thing helps your good name? _What a joke! "Honor? Ha! Honor is just something invented by old geezers to keep kids in line!"

I expected him to be angry, but all he did was smile. _Ha ha ha! _He slung his arm around me. _Well said, Ran-kun. I see you aren't like those hypocrites that try to live by honor alone._ He leaned closer until our cheeks all but touched. _I'm very proud of you._ He paused to deliver a light kiss to my cheek before rising. _And remember, I'm still waiting for you... _And then he was gone.

I dried my now puffy red eyes while sitting up. The bed still smelled of his scent. My heart still ached, but the burdened actually seemed a little lighter. This pain...I can live with it. I didn't want to admit it, but even though he was a heartless murder, just like me, Kikyou could calm my soul. I gazed out my window at the crimson sunrise. "Thank you...Kikyou."

Tsuzuku: to be continued...

Kumon: I plan to do Youji next; look out for it. Also, I'm new to this. Tell me if you think there's a way I can make the next one better.

Kekkon: Thanks!


	2. Youji

Disclaimer: Not mine, Koyasu's

Omake: Spoilers to the DPA, also this is Youji's POV

Warnings: Angst...and implied FtM (don't like, don't read)

At a grave, a young man muses

I stopped my car and walked out to the simple twin tombstone. It looked so awkward at there by itself. "I know it wasn't necessary, but I thought you guys deserved one." I knelt closer speaking in an odd prayer-like manner. "I can still hear your music, Azami. You and I were one and the same_. That despairingly hopelessly_ _sad song_. We both had to suffer because of our love. Well, actually we weren't the same. You were much more of a man then I could ever be. The way you stayed with the one you loved all those years...and even to the very end."

I turned to the other. "Ma, I can't forget about you either Master 1. We sure had fun together. Yeah, you were a pretty cool guy. Heh, you got along pretty well with Ken too." I chuckled bitterly, "That's a feat worthy of praise itself. We sure coulda been great friends if it wasn't for that..."

I paused, and then shrugged it off. "I went to were your bar was yesterday. But, there was nothin' but black ground. Someone must of burnt it. I'm sorry, even if it wasn't your real job you seemed to take pride in it... By the way Azami, I gave your violin to a nice young girl at the flower shop. I hope you don't mind. She's real good at playing it and I know she'll appreciate it as much as you did."

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot," I reached for my parcel, "I brought you flowers, pink bachelor buttons 2 and rabbit eared irises to be exact. I hope you enjoy them..." Now what...? "I know I should say a prayer for you guys or somethin' but... I've never been good at that kinda thing..." I could at least remember them.

_"I see, so your lover was killed."_ He paused, a sorrowful edge crept into his frown, _"I also have experienced_ _this. I...I loved her, but I knew that if she loved me back it would hurt her so much. So...I stopped asking her..."_ He's head dipped lower, _"Even though I couldn't destroy my love for her." _

I hesitantly pushed myself off the dirt. "The suns setting. Guess I'd better be headin' back to the shop." I slowly made my way to Seven. "Take care...you two." Huh...I know I should forget about them and move on, but... I can't. Hm, I guess that's just one of my bad habits...

_I don't care whether you're a man or a woman, as long as I can be with you..._

Aa, you definitely beat me Azami, I never could have loved someone as much as you did.

Kumon: The next (and last) chapter will be on how Ken has coped with these incidents

1 Youji casually refers to Ayame as "Master"

2 Azami flowers (I think)


	3. Ken

Warnings: Blasphemy, sadism, post-DPA spoilers, minor AU, Shonen-ai (?)

Disclaimer: #1 not mine, Koyasu's. #2 not intended to offend Christians in any way

The church seemed much bigger than I remembered...and so beautiful. _I heard that this church was built during the Meiji era. Look up, aren't the stained glass windows quite beautiful?_ Hmm... Y'know Ayame, even though I hate you, I'm gonna have to thank you. You helped me see just how far I can still go. It's like we're...

"Excuse me sir, do you need some assistance?" Huh? There before me was one of those sweet little nuns. So kind...so naïve. "Naw, I just wanted to pray for my friend. He's going on a trip." She smiled. "I see. May I ask where?" Ha! Where, she says. I couldn't bear the irony and gazed direct ally into her kind blue eyes with as much spite as I could muster. "To Hell."

"W-what!?" Those same blue eyes widened and she was gone. That's better. Now where was I...Aa. Ayame, I got everything you told me. If you have no dreams of heaven, you can do what ever ya please: killin', drinkin', or screwin' women; it doesn't matter. Yeah, my vision of "heaven" is the deepest darkest level of hell I can fall to. Wari na 1 God, it looks like I can be one of your little lambs anymore.

For one think I like killin' too much. That feeling I get right before they die, the way I can actually feel the targets fear and pain. And the after that horrifying moment, I slice, though flesh, bone, and muscle. How the blood splats on my already blood stained body, seeping into my clothes. And then, if no one's looking, I sneak a taste of the crimson now tinting my claws....I live for that brief moment.

However, I can't do it alone. Che', it's only been a month since we disbanded...but I'm still back to my useless self. Even you Ayame had Azami there for you. But...who do I have? Who!? It can't be a woman, all of 'em I liked are long gone or dead. Friends? Hell no, don't have none. _I won't have a mission with suicides!_ Heh heh heh, sorry, but I'm gonna have to pick you, Aya. I want to be where you are 2.

It's pitiful I know, but Aya's got somethin' about him that alluring. I guess its cause he's got...willpower, somethin' I have 'bout none of. I leaped up. Yeah, I'll go there right now! I'm sure if I say it right he'll agree to... Where is Aya? I...don't know. Kuso! I so stupid, he could be anywhere by now. And knowing Aya he's probably in some foreign country 5,000 kilometers away!

All admit, at this time I was pretty freaked out. By this time I had left the church so I was pacing up 'n down the entrance trying not to seizure. Ok, ok, I'll think of something. But I have no idea where he is!? Wait!? I screeched to a halt. Omi might know where he is. Yeah! Omi would definitely know were Aya is!

Sugei! I ran heedless of anything else but finding Omi. Just you wait Aya, even if you're on the other side of the world, I won't rest until we're together again. I promise!

Owari

1 Sorry

2 Taken from Chapter 11 of Weiß Side B

Kumon: Heh, sorry, I kinda mixed the pre-Glühen/Side B plot line.

Kekkon: über cute mode this chapter is dedicated to HeatherR -sama. Domo Arigato Gozaimasu!

Kumon: BTY Today's World Communion Day!


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